This is especially important if your husband is going to be in full-time Christian service. You will need to know how to disciple others. To disciple others, you yourself must be growing in three different areas: doctrine, character, and ministry.
Doctrine is simply what the Bible teaches about a certain subject. For example, the doctrine of salvation is what the Bible teaches about how a person can be saved from his sins through the atoning work of Jesus Christ on the cross. It involves repentance and faith.
If God is going to use us to teach others, we must first know what we believe ourselves. We need to be students of the Word of God and know how to rightly divide the word of truth (Second Timothy 2:15).
Especially important to study are the passages that deal specifically with women—her role as a wife, a mother, and as a woman in general. It is not enough to be able to parrot what the pastor says. We need to know not only what we believe, but why we believe it.
This is important for all Christians, but especially important for young ladies. Your parents have taught you much and passed on their convictions to you. But do you know the reason behind those convictions?
You need to study it out and be firm in your Bible understanding before you get out on your own. Then when someone questions you about what you believe, you will be able to give them chapter and verse, rather than saying, “Well, that’s just what my parents taught me.” Make those convictions personal.
If you are going to disciple others, the second area you must be growing in is the area of character. Webster’s Dictionary says that character is:
The peculiar qualities, impressed by nature or habit on a person, which distinguish him from others; these constitute real character, and the qualities which he is supposed to possess, constitute his estimated character, or reputation.
Never think you have arrived or will ever arrive. We need to be sure that our life reveals the qualities of love, gentleness, and a meek and quiet spirit. Our lives should be a testimony of His goodness and mercy and grace.
Ask God to mature and grow you in the area of character so that you can be used to help others. You need to look for areas in your character that are lacking or weak, and work in those areas to improve yourself.
For example, if you are lacking in the character trait of orderliness, there are several things you can do. You can make out a schedule for yourself and learn how to set goals to be more organized. You can read books on organization and implement some of the ideas suggested into your own life.
The third area we need to be growing in is the area of ministry or how we serve the Lord Jesus Christ. Because we are all individuals, God has a different plan for each of our lives.
God’s plan also changes according to the seasons of our life. During each of those phases, God can use you in different ways in the lives of others.
Some girls think that the ultimate in serving the Lord would be to sell all they have and be a missionary in Africa. But that is not God’s will for everyone.
It is not even God’s will that every girl be married to a pastor or missionary. That is certainly a worthy choice, and if God so wills it in your life, He will bring the right young man into your life who is a pastor or a missionary.
But what if God does not call your husband to be a pastor or a missionary? Can you still be involved in ministry? Absolutely.
There are many ways that you can serve the Lord. Don’t judge your life by what someone else is or is not doing. Get alone with God and ask Him how you can be involved in serving Him. What ministry does He want you to do?
But no matter what ministry God has called you to, each of us can be involved in becoming a Titus 2 woman—whether married or single. You can be teaching and encouraging the younger women to be a Titus 2 woman.
When you have a discipling relationship with a younger woman, you must become personally involved in her life. You need to be her friend and share your life with her as you help her become more like Jesus Christ.
There are many things that discipling entails, but basically it will involve the same three areas that we need to be growing in personally: doctrine, character, and ministry.
The area of doctrine is important in discipleship. Often new Christians have lots of zeal but little knowledge. Many women have good doctrinal beliefs, but when asked to explain it in their own words or give a scripture reference to prove their point, they cannot do it.
Part of discipleship is studying of Bible doctrines. Those you are discipling also need to know what they believe and why they believe it.
Discipleship also involves working on character. You need to ask the woman you are discipling, “What sins or what character weaknesses do you think God wants you to work on?”
Many times they will already know, and will be able to give you a list. Sometimes you will need to lovingly point out areas of weakness you see in her life. Once the areas have been determined, find or write a Bible study for her to do, or a book to read that you can discuss with her.
Encourage her to put off her sin and put on righteousness. Make her accountable. Ask her weekly how she is doing and talk about how she should have responded or acted.
The area of ministry is also important in discipleship. Every Christian woman should be serving the Lord in some way.
If she is a wife and a mother, a big part of her ministry will be to her husband and family, caring for them and praying for them. Never underestimate or play down this ministry. It is an important one, even though it is not in the limelight. God sees and He will reward.
Ask her these questions, “What do you think your spiritual gifts are?” or “If you could do anything for the Lord, what would you want to do?”
She may have a definite idea of something she would like to do, but she does not know how to accomplish it. It is likely that her desires have come to her from God through spiritual gifts or natural talents that He has given her.
Maybe she can begin serving the Lord right away at a lesser level than her full desire. For example, if she wants to teach a Sunday School class for 5-year olds, but she does not yet have the patience or the Bible knowledge to do so, she can serve as a helper in the class while she is working on her character qualities and Bible knowledge.
Serving the Lord and being involved in ministry is God’s will for every Christian, as we see in Ephesians 2:10:
“For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God has before ordained that we should walk in them.”
As mothers, we also need to be teaching these things to the younger ladies in our home, our daughters. It is our responsibility to teach our daughters how to cook, clean, iron, sew, shop, etc. It is our responsibility to teach them what God says about a Godly wife, and her responsibilities to her husband. Remember, we do this not only with our mouth, but also with our example.
Beverly is a wife, mother, and grandmother. She and Doug Hammett have been married for over 35 years. Since her father was a pastor and her husband was already a pastor when she married him, she is well acquainted with the blessings as well as the problems of the ministry! Bev’s favorite things to do are read and spend time with her family.
In Autumn of 2010, Doug stepped aside from his position as senior pastor at LVBC to reach and train men in Botswana and South Africa. Beverly continues to write for our ladies publication, giving her unique perspective of life in the ministry, and now life on the mission field. You can read more about their ministry here.