My list went something like this:
- I will never do [specific sin].
- I will never ever [sin in a certain way].
- I will never participate in [terrible sin].
Recently I found that list again and responded with weeping, as Peter did after denying Jesus. As I read my list of teenage convictions, I crumbled inside and felt utterly worthless and hopeless.
But just like with Peter, Jesus had known of my downfalls before I'd ever fallen. Jesus knows my sin and loves me still. In the reverberating shock waves of shame and regret that accompany transgression, a gentler wave washed over me too.
There is One with a stronger resolve than me. And He has resolved, "I will never leave you nor forsake you.
Even though you messed up this badly.
Even if you mess up this badly again.
Even though you broke your promises to Me.
Even if you walk away from Me.
I would never leave you."
"Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. So that we may boldly say, The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do unto me."
The goodness of God led Amanda to repentance when she was a 12-year-old girl, and despite a heart prone to wander, He daily draws her to Himself. She continues to attend Lehigh Valley Baptist Church where she was raised, and enjoys sharing digital art and snippets of what God is teaching her on her Instagram account (@amandaangrrr). When Amanda isn’t working her day-job of managing an insurance agency, she is likely to be found trying a new local restaurant, sipping a coffee delicacy, learning something from a podcast or audio book, or finding an excuse to show off pictures of her nieces & nephews.