Waiting on God can be a very challenging task even for a mature Christian. Especially if you are like me, an ambitious and driven person, who likes their life all planned out ahead. I hate the four letter word “WAIT” and I can say with all certainty that patience is NOT my virtue. Nevertheless, our Heavenly Father, through His love, nurtures and helps us grow in areas of deficiency. For the majority of my Christian life, it seemed as though I had to wait on God. Looking back, I can see that God was maturing me into a woman I needed to be, to bring Him glory. Ecclesiastes 3:11 says: “He hath made every thing beautiful in his time” and His timing is always perfect.
Coming to Know God
I was born and raised in Tajikistan, one of the former counties of the Soviet Union. As a teenager, I was determined to get a scholarship and come to the United States for school. I longed for a life of prosperity, riches, and high social status. At age sixteen, with a scholarship, I ventured to the United States on my own. After arriving, I attended Minnesota State University Moorhead. Freshman year, I was invited to Fargo Baptist Church through a campus bible study. After hearing the truth, I realized that I was not right with God, despite the fact that I was baptized and attending church regularly. God revealed to me that I was a sinner, condemned to hell and I needed a Savior. I struggled with repentance for almost eight months because I did not want to give up my future and make Jesus the Lord of my life. Finally, on Aug 5th 2001, I raised my “white flag of surrender” and became a new creature in Christ.
Now What, Lord?
With Jesus, as my new-found Lord, I was wondering what His will was for my life. Like many young ladies, I was praying for my ‘knight in a shiny armor’ to arrive and sweep me off my feet. After waiting for several years, I started to wonder if my knight was riding a turtle and not a horse…or got lost. By this time, I had finished college and was working as an Intensive Care nurse.
How Long, Lord?
After working as a nurse for four years, I felt led by the Lord to go back to graduate school. An internal struggle arose as I feared furthering my education. Thoughts like: “Who will marry me if I am old and highly educated?” and “What will my husband think if I have a ton of school debt?” were flooding my mind. The idea of starting a graduate degree at the age of twenty-eight caused great fear. I prayed earnestly and the Lord revealed that my thoughts were truly a reflection of my fear of men, not the Lord, Himself. In Proverbs 29:25, the Bible says “The fear of man bringeth a snare: but whoso putteth his trust in the LORD shall be safe.” The Lord made it clear that pursuing higher education was His will for my life. I was relieved to know God’s will; however I was sad with the thought that I would not be married for at least another three years! Entering a difficult field of study like Nurse Anesthesia meant that I would not even have time for courtship, so I was forced to wait AGAIN!
Hopelessness Sinks In
At age thirty-one, after graduating from anesthesia school, I started my new job as a Certified Registered Nurse Anesthetist. The hopes of being married or finding ‘Mr. Right’ seemed to be fleeing away. Some people viewed me as a career-driven, intimidating old maid who is 5’ 9” (plus I love wearing heels), and Korean ethnically with a Russian accent. To make matters worse, I lived in North Dakota, one of the least ethnically diverse states in the country; I felt hopeless. Nevertheless, in my discouragement, I held firm to Genesis 24:27: “I being in the way, the LORD led me” and focused all my energy serving the Lord through various ministries.
A Door Opens
One of the ministries that I wanted to participate in was a mission’s trip. That same year, Fargo Baptist was recruiting members of the church to travel to South Korea for the Asian Games. I thought it was an excellent opportunity to serve God and visit the motherland of my ancestors. Deep inside my heart, I was secretly hoping that I might meet my Prince Charming too!
When I arrived in Korea, I recognized that I already knew all of the people in our group and my secret hopes were dashed. The only men that I did not know were heading back to the United States the day after my arrival. With only five minutes at His disposal, The Lord introduced me to a young man named Michael. There were neither stars in my eyes nor butterflies in my stomach. All that I knew was that he loved the Lord, which was evident by our brief five-minute conversation.
Hopelessness Returns with Resignation
Upon my return home from Korea, I continued to pray. Some days I would reason with my Heavenly Father about my age, my ‘old eggs,’ or attempting to convince God that I could serve Him so much better with a husband.
After a month, I resigned reasoning with God and decide to be content in ‘whatsoever state’ I was in. My prayer turned to “not my will but thine.” I stopped reading books about marriage and started making preparations for living a single life.
“I Being in the Way, the Lord Led Me”
Meanwhile, the Lord gave me a desire to commemorate the trip to Korea by organizing a photo book that could be used as a witnessing tool for friends and family. I initiated contact with all of the participants of our group to collect pictures.
To my surprise, through God’s grace, an email correspondence started between me and Michael. It began as a simple sharing of our salvation testimonies but grew into a daily journal of all that God was doing in our lives. After nine months of emailing, we finally met in person and were engaged only four months later. Five months after that, I was finally Mrs. Dash (a Korean girl with a spicy last name).
“This is the LORD’s Doing;
It is Marvelous in our Eyes.”
Is it worth waiting on God? Absolutely. Even if He makes you wait thirty-three years. He gave me a perfect husband that I could have never found on my own. Looking back, The Lord needed to teach me many godly qualities, like patience, before I was ready to be with my ‘Prince Charming.’ I am so grateful for God’s longsuffering. When I had given up on Him, He had never given up on me.
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It is our highest desire that this publication encourages and edifies ladies in their daily walk with the Lord and strengthens them in their God-given role as wives, mothers, daughters, and servants of the Lord Jesus Christ.