We have looked at a few qualities that you should be cultivating in your life as a Godly Christian woman. We have seen how love, courtesy, good manners, listening to others, and learning how to speak correctly are all important qualities and useful when dealing with others. There are a couple more qualities that we want to consider.
I saw a poster one time that showed a little bird with his legs all bent in different directions. The caption said, “Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape!”
Flexibility is the art of adapting yourself to other people and circumstances. A woman whose husband is in a leadership position will definitely need to cultivate the art of flexibility. If she does not learn to be flexible, she will spend her entire life being frustrated and upset.
Learn to roll with the punches. Learn to look at interruptions in your schedule as divine opportunities. “Don’t sweat the small stuff.” It is a common catch-phrase today, but it is oh so very true in the ministry. Often we can handle the major crises beautifully, but the little daily hassles will send us into a tizzy and ruin our testimony and joy in the Lord.
Learn what things you must accept and what things you are accountable to change. I can say with certainty that God does not intend for you to change your husband. You need to make your husband happy; let God make him good. You do the possible and let God do the impossible. You make him happy and let God make him holy.
You are not accountable to change the church or the deacons or the church staff. Concentrate on the circle of responsibility God has given you. If you take care of those in a right and proper way, you will have no time to waste on things that are not your responsibility.
Remember that people are more important than things. Meeting people’s needs is more important than keeping your work right on schedule. This principle applies to your family as well as to others, and will help you keep your priorities straight.
Loyalty and Faithfulness
Be loyal to your husband. If he is your pastor, then listen to him as a man of God. Be attentive to his message and be very cautious about criticizing him. He needs your encouragement and praise. There are plenty of people to be his critic. You need to be his encourager, his cheerleader.
Be loyal to the programs of the church. This includes loyalty to the personal standards set by the church or the school. That means you must sometimes give up what is comfortable and more convenient in order to be loyal and faithful. Your desire should be to ‘adorn’ your husband’s ministry, to make it pleasing, to show that his principles WORK in his home.
Be loyal to the services of your church. It is unbelievable but true that some pastor’s wives do not always attend the services of the church where their husband is pastor. I can’t imagine anything more absurd! Your faithful attendance at the regular services of the church will be an encouragement to your husband, to the church members, and to the outside world.
Beverly is a wife, mother, and grandmother. She and Doug Hammett have been married for over 35 years. Since her father was a pastor and her husband was already a pastor when she married him, she is well acquainted with the blessings as well as the problems of the ministry! Bev’s favorite things to do are read and spend time with her family.
In Autumn of 2010, Doug stepped aside from his position as senior pastor at LVBC to reach and train men in Botswana and South Africa. Beverly continues to write for our ladies publication, giving her unique perspective of life in the ministry, and now life on the mission field. You can read more about their ministry here.