Marriage is a wonderful gift from God but it cannot take God’s place. Here are a few things to consider and ask yourself at this critical point in your life: Do you feel that marriage will bring meaning, direction, and security to your life; would it take away feelings of failure, inadequacy and loneliness? Do you say to yourself, “If only I could find a husband then I’d be happy?”
People usually have unrealistic expectation about marriage—it will change your life, and hopefully for the good, but do not expect it to do what only Jesus can do. Christ is the only source of true joy and happiness. A vibrant relationship with Him will fulfill your heart and bring contentment.
Marriage truly is a blessing. It quite possibly may be the closest human relationship we can enjoy. But your spouse will not solve all your personal problems or fulfill all your desires. It involves giving your life for the happiness of your spouse. That means living for another person and putting your needs last. It’s a life-long commitment that God does not take lightly.
Consider how God has sometimes called others to a fruitful life of ministry as a single person. We can see such an example in the lives of Christ and the Apostle Paul. Jesus says in Matthew, “For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother’s womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it .” In the Bible, a eunuch is a person who does not marry for the sole purpose of being a servant. God may want you to receive the position of a eunuch.
A single person, using their singleness well, has the flexibility and freedom to do things married people cannot consider. They have time to volunteer; they are free from many financial burdens that come with having a family and can therefore be more generous.
It may be that the Lord wants you to marry—if so, you will thrive best by seeking to establish a family. But take time to think about your singleness: What are your ministry gifts and opportunities? How important is having children to you? What are the advantages and disadvantages to being single? What would be some of the “costs,” as well as benefits, of getting married? Marriage is a great gift. But it is not the greatest gift, nor does it provide the deepest joy.
Make sure Christ is the center of your life – you serve Him faithfully; you talk to Him regularly; you are totally complete with Him in your life. Speaking from experience, it’s when you’re content, truly content with Him, that He delights in giving you the desires of your heart.
Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for him: fret not thyself…
Jackie had the privilege of being raised in a pastor’s home where she was personally mentored by her mother. She has a passion for teaching and encouraging young ladies throughout their teenage years.
She and her husband, Chris, serve the Lord together at LVBC and currently have four children, Robby, Lauren, Daniel and Matthew.